VonZipper Conman Sunglasses - $55.21

As you and your dine-and-dash crew hop in the van, the Von Zipper Conman Sunglasses hug your face and help you launch off the curb like Josh Kerr sending it off a huge wave. The chef may be chasing you with a cleaver and hurling insults in a foreign tongue, but at least no one was able to witness your most distinguishing features through these medium-sized, wrap-around glasses. - $55.21