Sabre The Weirdo Sunglasses - $56.97

Pull on Sabres The Weirdo sunglasses, drive your stolen ice cream truck to the local playground, and watch scores of concerned parents pack up their kids and leave. Once everybody clears out, you can finally stop pretending to be a sex offender and go guzzle beer and play on the swings without anybody trying to kick you out. The Weirdos 100% UV protection will keep your corneas from frying until somebody gets wise to your scheme and youre permanently banned from all public parks. - $56.97