Rossignol Experience 88 Ski - $599.95

Those stubborn high-pressure systems may deter the meek from heading up the hill, but you're armed with the Rossignol Experience 88 Ski: the necessary weaponry to slay the snow despite its terrifyingly varied state from the buffed bowls to the borscht-like base. When the sky spits out a boot-deep day, the raised tip and tail can hang, but the 88's extended sidecut and traditional camber were meant for satiating your gravity-taunting lust between the real pukers. It's also a prime plank if you rule a mountain where men don't waste time waiting for 'fluff.' - $599.95