Ezekiel Gravel Short - Men's - $32.97

There's a reason you keep striking out; your pickup lines are really, really bad. (Telling people you're a 'centaur from the waist down' is not only creeper-ific, it also doesn't make any sense.) Instead, try wearing the super-classy Ezekiel Gravel Shorts and talking about her for onceyou've got nothing to lose, right - $32.97