Arnette Heavy Hitter Sunglasses - $89.95

Your laser vision is nigh uncontrollable, and while that comes in handy for vaporizing vending machines for a quick snack, it's awkward when you disintegrate your girlfriend's dad. Fortunately, the Arnette Heavy Hitter Sunglasses focus your metal-cutting glare into a much more manageable sunburning beam. Of course, if the bartender at the swim-up tiki bar is hassling you over your lack of ID, you can always remove the shades just for a sec. - $89.95

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